October Lucid Dreams During 2014

An environment sketch, I really like the mood in this piece.

Hmmm I have never felt so close to death for some reason, over the past few days I have been noticing the rhythm of my breathing and I am just feeling so grateful to be truly alive. Last night I had an extended meditative session where I was focusing on my breath, it go so intense that I broke through to the other side. I have never had a meditation experience as emotionally fulfilling as this.

For the first time in years I went to sleep sober and I didn’t have my weird evil shit go on….more on that below!

Okay so I am feeling a little confused about the array of consciousness states that occur while sleeping.

To my mind there are generally 4 separate states that can produce visual and auditory sensations. Hypnagogic state, normal dreaming, lucid dreaming and astral projection. I am aware that these can bleed into each other.

But I have no idea how to categorise the crazy things that I experience as I immediately go to sleep.

So typically in the first 10 minutes of sleep I always experience a dark sinister dream….as in something bad is happening and it is hard to see what is going on. Then the dream always freezes, stutters or lags and then I become lucidly aware it’s a dream. The dream then attacks me and I either go out of body or am able to wake myself up.

There are always super crazy vibrations, sounds, sometimes colours and and almost magnetic pull on my consciousness…. as if it is taking me somewhere…I always think “this is it I am actually dying.” If I manage to wake up I have to sit up or stand up to wake myself up properly otherwise I will immediately be drawn back into the previous state by the magnetic pull.

The only time this doesn’t happen is if I go to bed completely inebriated.

Typically my lucid dreams/astral projections occur in the early hours of the morning and have a totally different vibe to the stuff I described above.

So it feels like a dream, has moments of hypnagogia, I am totally lucid and often start to astral project or OBE all within a couple of minutes of sleeping…what the hell is that about!

I am guessing it’s because I have an active mind and immediately analyse my state of being as soon as possible? I don’t know.